Say yes to everything and always take the stairs

10 Mar, 2026

For almost forty years my parents owned and ran a small business selling desserts to restaurants, cafes, hotels, and so forth. Their retirement a few years ago was definitely welcome, especially after seeing how flat-out they'd worked to keep the business afloat during the pandemic. I know that for them (and my dad in particular), the prospect of retirement was a daunting one: the idea that they would no longer be needed in the same way was, I think, quite scary¹. When I got around to asking them how they were finding retirement, they told me that they had developed the motto say yes to everything, and always take the stairs.

I liked this advice then, and I like it now as well. There's something very simple about it, but it seems to me to be a core facet of their happiness as a retired couple. They remain active, in good health, and good spirits. They have not languished at home and withdrawn from the world now that they are done with work. On the contrary, they seem busier than ever! When I started thinking about this advice as it applies to my own existence, it occurred to me that the spirit of the rule is more important than the letter.

Saying yes to literally everything can lead to burnout, or worse. What matters is that we shouldn't be finding excuses to not do things that push us to go beyond what we're comfortable with in a given moment. So say yes to the party invitation, say yes to the yoga class, and say yes to the new hobby. But also say yes to yourself; yes to self-care, and yes to accepting one's limits. It's about being open to the world, our community, and ourselves, and not about being a boundary-less doormat.

Literally taking the stairs everywhere isn't always possible, for a host of reasons. What matters here is not the instruction to constantly heave yourself up twenty flights of steps, but the reminder that we live in a world of (perhaps too much) convenience. There are lifts and escalators everywhere, and taking the stairs is a metaphor for doing the work. There are, of course, times in life when lifts and escalators are not only helpful, but necessary. We don't need to only ever take the path of most resistance. We just need to internalise that growth, development, and ultimately happiness come most from when we have to take a bit more time, make a bit more effort, and sweat a little.

Since I heard this advice from my parents, I have tried to incorporate say yes to everything and always take the stairs into my own life as a rule for living. It's not always easy. As a mum with a full-time job, saying yes to everything doesn't often look like saying yes to parties! But I find that the overall steer is incredibly helpful, and I do find myself taking the stairs (literally and metaphorically) much more often than I used to.

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